This is not timely at all. The Sopranos debuted more than two decades ago and mask wearing due to COVID-19 is a less contentious issue in 2022. But I had a dream last night where I was at a bar discussing with a friend which of Tony Soprano’s associates would be pro-mask or anti-mask. Thankfully this was one of those dreams that I remembered after waking and thought about it over breakfast. I’m not a Sopranos scholar since I’ve only seen the show through once. I don’t much about the underlying motivations of each character. And I only one want to focus on four characters: Tony, Silvio, Paulie, and Christopher. But liked my thoughts enough to write them down. I think Tony and Silvio are anti-mask but with different approaches while Paulie and Christopher are pro-masks for different reasons.
Nothing about Tony Soprano makes me think he’s the kind of guy to accept mask mandates without causing a huge stink. He’s the kind of guy that gets on Youtube for yelling at minimum-wage retail workers trying to enforce the rules. I imagined a short scene with him and Dr. Melfi in her office.
Tony: Why are you wearing that mask? It’s stupid and makes you look [insert something here if we want Tony to start the conversation angry or flirty]
Melfi: Well it is the rule. And I think it’s easiest way to protect my family. Tony: What the fuck are you trying to say? You saying I don’t protect my family?
Melfi: I am not saying anything. But let’s explore why you thought I was implying something.
Silvio also thinks masks aren’t effective and terrible. Much like Tony, he thinks the COVID threat is way overblown. But overall he wears them when necessary according to the local mandates. He rationalizes this by arguing that he’s already a criminal and doesn’t need any extra attention from authorities. He wears his mask the absolute bare minimum and probably doesn’t cover his nose too often. Malicious compliance.
I imagine Christopher being truly worried about COVID and secretly wanting to mask up. But he’s afraid of looking weak in front of the rest of the crew so he public vents about the mandates. However, when Paulie comes up with a scheme to promote mask wearing, Christopher is excited and goes along with it, to a tidy little profit.
Paulie was the most fun to think about because him and Christopher make a good duo and have some decent comedic moments through the series. Like Tony and Silvio, Paulie is not a believer in masks. However, he likes the idea that he can wear a mask in public to hide his identity; as a criminal this is pretty good news for him. He decides this is an opportunity for him to learn pick-pocketing and ropes in Christopher. The two could have an entire B plot of an episode where they practice their new art. They have some humorous situations and close escapes aided by the fact they can’t be identified under their masks. The episode ends with Paulie, Christopher, Silvio, and Tony having dinner at a fancy restaurant. Silvio and Tony are busting balls over the pick-pocketing but when the check comes, Paulie offers to pay by pulling out a massive wad of bills and Christopher leaves a $300 tip. “For being an essential worker,” with a wink.
The Keasy Depot 